Symptom of a Cyborg's Heart
by Rika
Summary: A sad little PSIII story about Mieu's feelings.


  
  
Phantasy Star III: Symptom of a Cyborg's Heart  
  
Waiting by the lakeside for many, many long years, seeing you was like  
seeing Orakio again, so haunting in the resemblance. Your eyes, my prince,  
the determined look that reached back far within them. The way you stood,  
and walked, the cold anger that lay deep within your frame. I'd been  
waiting so long, not knowing who would finally come to claim my service,  
knowing only the blood that would flow in their veins. Even without these  
sensory devices built within me, I would have known you then. Though I  
was, and am, but a combat android, feelings could still dwell within my  
systems, and did. My long wait over, I gave myself to your command gladly,  
not knowing what call would be placed upon me, but pleased to find meaning  
in my existance again, and someone to exist for. It was my duty, and my  
desire, both.  
  
Sweet Rhys. You inherited more from your grandsire then the bloodline  
alone. So few ever saw us as anything more then tools and machines to be  
used and ordered, but you were so kind to Wren and myself, recoginizing the  
not so inhumane qualities within us, dealing with us as friends and equals,  
as Orakio always had. Maybe it was through that kindness, and such fond  
memories, that I came to feel the way I did, though I knew it could never  
be as I would like it to be. Despite it all, I am a cyborg. I would not  
be permitted to love you.  
  
Then came the day you had long hoped for, when we all confronted the  
Cillian king, and won your bride back for you. I remember Lyle's  
sympathetic glance when you found you had such a choice to make; the one he  
gave to me, rather. Somehow he knew, knew what I felt, and how much more  
it was hurting me, the quiet, unnoticed one. I could never have spoken,  
even if I wasn't what I am. I could never stand between you and your  
happiness, only by your side, no matter what. And though Lena was upset  
when you chose to honor your promise to the princess Maia, she could, and  
chose, to leave and go on with her life without you. I hurt too...but I'd  
been long resigned to this.  
  
  
Years later, prince Ayn was of age, and you sent us out to find a new home  
for your people. It pained me terribly to leave you, and I learned despair  
when we returned in the wake of the cyborg armies to find you gone. Ayn...  
the young prince, son of -my- prince. I vowed silently that I would  
protect him ever after, even knowing I was compelled to anyway. Helping  
him to grow up, at times it felt like he was our son, yours and mine.   
Would that he could have been...but that, too, was always impossible. I  
would never have a child.  
  
The time I had with Ayn was the worst in my long memory, so much pain came  
with it, and I was helpless to prevent any of it. Though we won through,  
in the end, and gained for you your new home, we lost brave Lyle. It was  
the worst for Thea, seeing her father die, but he had been my friend too,  
and the only Layan I'd known to see me as more then a pile of metal and  
electronics. I honored his request, and never told you he'd kidnapped  
your wife so long ago. It seemed so important to him, your friendship.  
Everyone keeps their own special secrets...  
  
Then the battle with Siren, the way he looked at Wren and I, like we'd  
betrayed everything important in the world. I'd known him once. He was  
the best, and we defeated him. Wren thought little of it, in that cold,  
detached way he has of viewing everything, but it pained me. I wish there  
could've been some other way, and maybe things later wouldn't have happened  
the way that they did.  
  
The day I most feared eventually came, and you passed away from this world.  
Though you had your friends and family around you, and left us in peace,  
a hole was torn within me that night. You were my love, and I could never  
tell you, and never would, now. I had no tears to grieve for you with, no  
right to show you how I felt in the ceremonies to honor and inter you, no  
friends to help me deal with the unbelievable pain I possessed. Your  
grandson, Sean, and King Ayn were all I had left, and then Ayn was ripped  
away from me too by Siren's attack on Azure. I don't know how a woman  
should feel when she loses both husband and son, but..I think I felt such  
a way. In the mad panic to make sure Sean escaped, my circuits were  
crosswired every which way, and I functioned only by my primary program  
to serve your descendants. My body moved on its own while my mind was  
lost in horrible places no cyborg was supposed to be. At that time, I  
understood what had possessed poor Miun to wander the deserts of Aridia  
in irrationality. I thank my creators that Sean gave her her final wish,  
so she passed on into nonexistance in happiness, and I pray to them that  
one day, I can cease functioning in the same, finally fulfilled bliss.  
  
Oh, my prince. I've served your family for ten more generations now.  
Generations of peace, without the troubles we had in our time. My  
usefullness is coming to an end. I've seen your grandsons grow up,  
live, and die. Even Wren is gone now, seven years, enshrined in honor  
for his service. One day...perhaps soon...I will ask to leave my  
service, and I will return to the lake where we first met, so very long  
ago. Your many-great grandson will come with me, and I will tell him  
your final tales, and all these things I've long kept secret within me.  
Then...I will be shut down, to cease my functioning forever, in that  
grove I hold most sacred. I hope, wherever you are now, that when that  
day arrives, I will be able to see you again. Dear Rhys...good night,  
sweet prince.  
  
  
  
This story can be distributed *almost* wherever, with no permission  
required from me, as long as it remains unchanged. It may NOT be posted  
on RPGamer.com, or any other imagine games network affiliated site.  
  
11/23/98  
  
Rika  
  
http://tnt.dynodns.net/~rika/ ( you can get my email off the page )  



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